Celebrity Five Go To Turkey was a funny little affair, and really rather fun. The show is obviously a spin off from Celebrity Coach Trip, but with added advantage: the overbearing presence of Brendan is thankfully gone, and you do discover something of the attractions of the locale.
Derek Conway was the only celeb that did not degenerate into the syrup - basically a psycho-drama created by the hysterical emotional Bagpuss that is Russell Grant. Well done Derek! A swim around a pool with a couple of trained dolphins was life changing, a mud bath was "the best day of my life" and all that. There was some awful woman covered in tatoo ink that helped Grant create a house of schmaltz, but I have no idea who she was (or is). Jan Leeming became tired and emotional and Derek Conway had a "physic massage" administered by Russell. Grant also "read the cups" for that chap from Blue. One wonders if these demonstrations of Grant's services were written into the contract?
Sadly, dear old Russell did not win and lost 7-0 when judged by the Turkish. One reason might be that he expressed boredom with the historic sites, was "fresh" with numerous male Turks during filming, ate with his mouth open, left his undergarments scattered all over the floor, and insulted the local staff - calling the chef "the meerkat" and the maid "mama mia" Foreigners eh? The final insult to the Turkish nation was when RG speculates about whether the prize will be a villa in Turkey.....he says he will "put it on the market" and use the money to see West End shows in London. The spirit (and bulk) of Bernard Manning lives.
Do say "oooh anyone got any Daddy's Sauce for me kebab, dear"
Don't say "let's go visit the museum"
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